Oblivinity

A thousand lies penetrate my soul, Like knives they twist and tear at my being, I grow weak and cry out, but no one is listening, They are all too busy speaking, Speaking through the knives held between their teeth, They are trying so desperately to make their lies a reality, Even as blood pours out of their own mouths, And you, my most trusted friend, You with the most deadly weapon of all, A blade tipped with poison, Fermented with years upon years of a trust that I thought we shared, now spoiled, As I fall to my knees I can only manage to say but one thing, Et tu, Brute?

I bear a cross on my back of disappointment and hate, it is the cross of my father, and his cross bears my fate, to die alone, and to die angry, filled with anxiety and despair, with paranoia and regrets, the weight is almost impossible to bear, in carrying this cross, the one I took from my father, at least I have solace in that I wish to be unlike my father, for him happiness and love will never suffice, the lies that destroyed him are truth in his eyes, I know I still have time to change, and change I must try, or by the weight of this cross I will most surely die

We walk along the shore, lively, though not quickly, one hand each shared in an embrace, our smiles mirror the stars, a joyous feeling pulled forth from eternity, it soon begins to rain, but we neither slow down or quicken, we merely continue on, the fire in our hearts will lead us to our destination

A distant humming, quiet at first, then louder, a cacophony of sound, similar to a parade of 1,000 flies, buzzing in concordance with one another, growing louder still, am I going crazy? I do not ask aloud, later, a phone clutched like a brass knuckle in my hand, to dial for help or strangle myself with the cord? as the sound grows even louder still, the time for a decision is now, I hang up the phone, I would rather suffer than ask for help, I would rather go crazy than kill myself, it's all the same in the end.

She tore up her web, Ready to move on again, She wasn't catching any flies, It was time for her to rebuild, To take her plans elsewhere, In this dusty corner she was growing old, The spider crossed paths with other beings on her journey, But never once a fly, Had they all died?, Spider-days and spider-nights crept through times plan, And on her journey she was soon crushed by the god of her home, a man, She would be found by the flies.

Drop in, drop out, set something ablaze, and then put it out, the fire was in your eyes, and yet it was me who burned for you, scalding and in pain, you used me up until not even the embers remained, you set me aflame, but never put me out, you just wanted to watch my matchstick soul burn itself out, I thought the intensity in your eyes was righteousness, I thought it was truth, but now I doubt everything, and will always regret my youth, if you have any remorse at all, take my ashes and bury them far away, bury them somewhere cold, that has never experienced a one-sided love's pain, the warmth of my decomposition will win against that o

Sitting out on the plains, and right above my head, there is a 747 screaming, but all I can think is that I should be dead, walking in the past, with no eyes to see, trying to look for the place where you were set free, but I have no sense, won't you please guide me? I'm lost without heaven, and maybe heaven's lost without me, tried to get there with that 747, but it left the airstrip without me, I remember the scorched patch of earth, where they found your body, they dragged me all the way out here just to see, they told me... they told me that you had been set free, i ignored the burns, i ignored the blackened flesh, i i

with or without you, either way, tomorrow will be better than today, all I can say is hey, I believe it, and it's true, I do, because with or without you, either way, tomorrow will be better than today I can't keep holding myself back, I have a life to live, no need to forgive, maybe one day I'll find happiness with you, but if I never do, I'll go forward, and try not to look back, and I'll find happiness in that, somewhere with or without you, either way, tomorrow has to be better than today

I look towards you, and find I can't look away, this feeling is new, and stronger every day, but then you pull away, what can I say? my feelings for you, left to be expressed another day

How do you tell someone they mean the world to you, and make them know that what you say is true? I wish this was easy, but nothing worth having is ever easy, atleast that's what they say, anyway, so I'll write these words for you, and hope you see this poem through, And I'm trying, everyday, to tell you this, but it's harder than it seems, and I'm tearing at the seams, why can't I bring myself, to tell you myself, that I love you?